Custody Agreement

The written agreement setting out where your children live and who decides what, and how to get it into a form a court will sign.

Start with the schedule

The schedule is the part of the agreement everything else depends on. Build it here first.

Schedule pattern

50/50

Each parent keeps the same two weekdays every week and the weekends alternate, producing a repeating 2-2-5-5 night pattern.

January 2026

Parent A
Parent B

Tap any night to switch parents.

A custody agreement is a written arrangement between two parents covering where the children live, when they're with each parent, and who has authority over major decisions. Once a court approves and signs it, it stops being an agreement and becomes an order.

Most state statutes and court forms now call the same document a parenting plan. The change is deliberate: 'custody' frames the question as who wins, and 'parenting plan' frames it as how this will actually work. The substance is the same, and most courts accept either name. A few states, Washington and Tennessee among them, require their own mandatory parenting plan form with its own contents, so check your state's page before you title the document.

This page covers what a custody agreement has to contain and how to write one that holds up. Start by building the schedule below.

What a custody agreement must cover

Six areas that a workable agreement covers wherever you file, whatever the document is called. Your state may require more, so check your state's page before you finalize anything.

Physical custody: where the children sleep on each night of the year
Legal custody: who decides on education, health care, religion and activities
Holidays and school breaks, with a rotation that names the starting year
Exchanges: location, exact times, transportation and what happens if someone is late
Communication: between the parents, and between each parent and the children
Changes and disputes: relocation notice, how to modify, what to try before court

Legal custody and physical custody are separate decisions

Legal custody is decision-making authority. Physical custody is where the children live. They are decided independently and frequently come out differently, joint legal custody with one parent having primary physical custody is one of the most common arrangements in the country.

A custody agreement should say what it's doing about each of them, separately and explicitly. Conflating the two is the single most common source of confusion in these documents.

What makes an agreement enforceable

Specificity. An agreement is enforceable to the extent that a third party can read it and know whether someone has complied.

'Reasonable telephone contact' can't be enforced because nobody can say what is reasonable. 'A video call on Tuesday and Thursday at 7:00 PM for at least fifteen minutes' can. The same applies to exchange times, holiday periods and notice requirements, replace every adjective with a number.

Getting it approved

Both parents sign, the agreement is filed with whatever else your case requires, and a judge reviews it. Judges are looking for an arrangement that's workable and in the children's interests, and for a document specific enough to enforce.

Requirements differ: some states mandate a particular form, some require mediation first, some require a parenting education class, and notarization rules vary by county. Check your state's page and your court's current filing requirements before you finalize anything.

Changing it later

By agreement, you write the new version, both sign, and submit it to be entered as a modified order. Do submit it, an informal change that's never filed leaves the old order as the enforceable one.

Where the other parent doesn't agree, most states require a material change in circumstances since the last order plus a showing that the change serves the children's interests.

Common questions

What is the difference between a custody agreement and a parenting plan?

In practice, nothing. 'Parenting plan' is the term most modern state statutes and court forms use; 'custody agreement' is the older, more colloquial name for the same document.

Is a custody agreement legally binding?

Once a court approves and signs it, yes. It's a court order. An unsigned agreement between parents may carry some contractual weight but is much harder to enforce.

Can we write a custody agreement without lawyers?

Yes, and many parents do. Having an attorney review it before signing is inexpensive relative to modifying it later, and is strongly advisable where there's any imbalance between the parents or any safety concern.

What if we can't agree?

Most states allow each parent to submit a proposed arrangement and the court decides. Many require mediation first. Turning up with a specific, workable proposal and a calendar is considerably more effective than opposing the other parent's.

Does a custody agreement cover child support?

Support is usually calculated separately using your state's formula, though it's often filed alongside the custody documents. The overnight count from your schedule is an input into that formula, which is why the agreement should state it.

Document preparation only: not legal advice. Not affiliated with any court.